Lessons for Exiles: How do you get city people to the suburbs?

So my wife and I are looking for a new place in SUMA, and we’re telling our friends about it. Trying to get them excited, because we’d like to, you know, stay friends with them, and it would help if they were willing to, you know, visit us now and then.

It’s becoming increasingly clear that we’re never going to see them again.

And I really don’t blame them, because I never visited my friends who left the city.  Once they left, it was like the Morlocks got them. We cast them from our minds. Chris and Kate have left 83rd and Third and they’re now in Rye, and let us not speak of them again….

So I was just as bad when I was on the cool, Manhattan side of that equation. I was never taking a weekend night to schlep out to Scarsdale or Montclair or God-Forbid-Long-Island to go visit someone who had the effrontery to leave this great city. Almost as if their choice to leave, by itself, rendered them somewhat less interesting.

I guess I deserve nothing better. I’m sure I’ll find nice, umm, replacement friends.

Anyway, I do have one idea.  When I’ve discussed the houses we’ve been looking out, I’ve detected a common thread in the questions I get.  No one seems interested in bedrooms or bathrooms or location or square footage or the type of oven we’ll have, but they seem very interested in one feature of some of the homes we’ve seen.

Whether it has a pool.

The pool is the equalizer, maybe the one thing that elevates a suburban household in the eyes of the sneering Manhattanariat.  A pool for those hot days in the summer when your Hamptons share is in an off-week, or you’re afraid to go back and face the friend-of-a-friend that you woke up next to LAST weekend.  A pool to escape Manhattan’s summer heat, a place to eat barbecue.

After all, the Hamptons are really just a suburb. I hate to tell that to all of you who just plunked down a month’s salary for four weekends in a five bedroom house on a one-acre lot in a cul-de-sac, but doesn’t that description sound kinda like a typical suburban house? So you’re spending all that income to drive out 4 or 5 hours on a Friday night to sleep in a bunk bed like a 12 year old, in a house that has as much relationship to the beach as Woody Allen, and you’re too good to come visit me a half hour north?   Did I, ummm, mention that we have a pool?

Great, see you then.

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How to Sell Your Home in 30 days

People have been writing to ask me how we sold so quick in a market like this. Okay, we didn’t actually sell our home in 30 days. We put it on the market for a few weeks in November, and quickly realized that it’s not a great time to sell when the market is falling 300 points every day and people are talking about the next Great Depression. We took the holidays off, and went back on the market in February. Things had calmed down a little by that point.

Obviously, though, that was not the best time to sell an apartment in Manhattan, not in a market that’s probably going to show a significant transactional and pricing decline in the second quarter. But once we put it back on the market, we had an acceptable offer in about a month, in contract a few weeks after that.

How did we do it? Well, we had some advantages that maybe you don’t have. Like, my wife is a real estate agent here in the city. And I own a real estate company out in the suburbs. Chances are your wife probably isn’t a real estate agent, and you’re not a real estate professional.

But don’t worry. That’s now why we sold quickly. The only reason those “advantages” actually helped us is that we actually listened to our own advice. What for years she’s been telling her sellers, and I’ve been telling my agents, we actually did.

As in:

1. If you’re moving, start now.
We started the moving process about a month before we actually put the apartment on the market. As in, we actually started moving. We spent about three weekends clearing out the apartment, taking out about boxes and boxes of assorted stuff we had filling the place. Some of it we kept and stored upstate, some it we threw away, some of it we gave away. But we took out about fifteen boxes of stuff: books we don’t read, clothes we don’t wear (or no longer fit into), food we don’t, furniture we don’t need to sit on. Emptied the place out, made it look a lot bigger, nicer, cleaner. And we were planning on moving, which is why we were selling the apartment in the first place, so it helped us get a head start and make the final move a little less intensive.
We also hired a guy to come in and do all the little things that had degraded in the apartment since we did construction in 2005. Everything from lighting fixtures that never got installed and were sitting in a closet to smudges on walls. $2,000 later, the place looked like it did when we moved in.

2. Be Accessible
We wanted the place shown as much as possible, whenever someone wanted. You want to come over on Sunday morning? Come on down! Wednesday night! What time? We did open houses almost every weekend it was on the market. Every morning, we’d clean it up, put the dirty clothes in a hamper and hide it away. It was ready for show anytime an agent wanted.

3. Price to Sell
We priced aggressively for the market, underneath other apartments that were for sale in the area. We knew that the market might be tough, so we wanted to strike quickly. If we’d sold a year ago, we probably would have gotten over $1,300 a square foot. We priced at $1,200 a square foot and sold for about $1,100 a square foot. We didn’t get the best price possible, and maybe if we’d waited out the spring market we could have done a little better, but we got good terms and a good, trustworthy buyer and we had our money off the table. Even now, I’m seeing comparable apartments that were for sale when we put our place back on the market in February, and they’re still priced above what we sold for.

Would that work for everyone? I don’t know. But when I was buying I looked at a lot of apartments that had clothes stuffed in the closets, or were dirty, or smelled like cats, or were only available for show on alternate Wednesday afternoons. So I think it helped.

It also helped, of course, that I had a great agent. I highly recommend her.

Why am I leaving Manhattan for the suburbs– I un-heart NYC???

Someone pointed me to two articles in the Sunday Post, asking if I was leaving because I am bearish on Manhattan, the real estate, or the general economy.  The first is a Post review of an economic report saying that New York is dead last in something called “economic outlook.” The Post calls it non-partisan, but it was written by the guy who created supply-side economics, so I think it’s probably got a viewpoint.

The second one is by Peggy Noonan, predicting a downsized world, where people forego cable and the internet and raise pigs and some such stuff.

And then the Post profiles a bunch of people who are leaving Manhattan to go to parts far away.  Places like Minnesota and West Virginia. 

Okay, let me make this clear. That’s not me. 

I’m not moving to West Virginia.

I’m not going to raise pigs.

More importantly, I’m not down on Manhattan.  Far from it.  I hate leaving.  Yes, I think that Manhattan real estate is probably going to go down in value for a period of time, although I priced my home to get it sold so I think my buyer got a pretty good deal. But that’s not why I’m leaving.

I’m leaving because I work out in the suburbs, and I’ve been commuting out there for seven years, and it’s finally gotten to me.  Plus, the stairs.  The damned stairs.  More about the stairs another time.

But I love Manhattan. And if it becomes a little more affordable for people, I think that’s a good thing.